The More I Find You

The More I Find You

       When I was a little girl, I had this bad habit of running through the isles of a grocery store whenever I felt like I had lost my mom. She often would send me out to go grab a loaf of bread or a jug of juice just to help the shopping process go faster. So I would go, leaving the cart behind and marching in and out of aisles over to the chilly juice section and successfully grabbing the correct orange juice (no extra pulp, thank you very much). The jug was safely in my hands and with a smile on my face, I’d turn around, ready to bring it to our cart. Then a wave of panic would wipe the smile off my rosey, little face when I realized the cart and my mom where no longer in the same aisle that I left them in. Ginger waves of hair would bounce through the aisles as I ran through the store trying to find my mom. What felt like a lifetime of searching and fear only lasted 30 seconds when the calling of my name would stop me in my tracks. “Ems, I’m here,” she saw me first, saw that I was scared and then called my name, drawing me in to feel safe again. Out of breathe and with an uneasy smile on my face, but relief in my heart, I shakily placed the juice in the cart, “I got it.” 


       “Seek” is our base-wide theme for the summer quarter. As a campus we are diving deeper into our relationships with God, seeking after Him more than ever before and in new, intimate ways. I often find myself seeking Him the same way the younger version of myself used to grocery shop with my mom. I start off composed, ready, and on a mission to find Him and bring Him further into my life, but when life throws anxiety, fear and panic into my little world I end up frantically running around unable to see Him standing right infront of me. I think a lot of us can relate to that little redhead; one minute we’re ready, going after God and the next we’re panicking because we can’t find Him; we lost Him. But we didn’t lose Him, you did not lose Him. When we commit ourselves to seeking after God, we also have to commit and say yes to the process. There will be dry seasons in your life where it feels as if all of a sudden God is just gone, you'll want to scream “where are you?!” That’s okay, God wants to know what you’re feeling, how you’re feeling, why you’re feeling certain things in that moment. But He didn’t leave, He’s standing right down the aisle, calling your name. Instead of letting emotions cloud the voice of God, bring those emotions right to Him. Bring your anxiety, tell Him your fears, cry with Him over your loss, even if it feels like He’s not there. He will feel all those emotions with you and pull you deeper into relationship with Him. 


Jeremiah 29:13 says: you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 


Give Him your heart, all the messy, anxious, fearful, ugly parts. He wants it all so that He can continue to dream and live life with you. 


       Have you ever been in love? I highly recommend it. What do you do when you’re in love; how do you show someone that you love them? 


Pursue. Pursue. Pursue. 


Sometimes I think it’s easy to get wrapped up in our own image of how God wants us to seek Him. But when it comes down to it, all He asks is that we pursue Him as our first love. He is so deeply in love with each of us that He will never stop chasing after our hearts. But in order to seek Him, fully,  we have to respond to His love with our own love. We will find Him when we give Him our whole heart, and all the mess that comes with it. But the more we seek Him the more we will fall deeply in love with Him. This pursuit creates a cycle of deeper relationship and intimacy with God. It’s a process that will not always be easy. But if you give Him your heart and your yes, I promise it will be so worth it. He is so worth it. 

By Emily Bates | August 15th 2019 | Seek, finding God

About the Author: Emily Bates

Emily Bates

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